Rewriting the Narrative: when the story in your head isn't the full truth

you are not broken : the stories we tell ourselves (and the ones we can rewrite)

Have you ever caught yourself thinking: “I’m just not good at this”? Or maybe, “Why do I always mess things up”? These thoughts feel like facts. They creep in quietly, shaped by things we’ve heard, absorbed, or repeated to ourselves for years, maybe even our lifetime.

But this isn't the whole story.

Sometimes, the loudest voice in our head isn’t our own, but rather a collection of past criticisms, moments of shame, unrealistic expectations, or survival-mode reactions that got stuck on repeat. When we’re burned out, especially over long periods of time, those skewed narratives can begin to feel like absolute truth.

My Experience

For the longest time, I believed I was useless. Honestly, I believed I was just bad at everything. It's all I heard: What I was bad at. What I should have done better. What I should change. What I should be less of. That I should be less of myself and more of anything else.

I couldn’t keep up, and it felt like failure lived in my bones.

I remember the heartache of wishing I were someone else, someone better, someone different. It didn’t occur to me to ask why I was struggling because I had already absorbed the message: I was failing.

But here’s the truth: I was raising four children under the age of six, in a too-small house, with zero support, no break, no sleep, and no help. I was budgeting, cooking, cleaning, parenting, and trying to hold everything together in complete isolation, and with no help.

And yet I believed I was the problem!

Now, years later, with a gentler lens and more self-awareness, I can see it a little differently:

I wasn’t lazy or broken. I had undiagnosed ADHD, depression, anxiety, and by the end of those hard years, CPTSD.

I wasn’t a bad mom, wife, or housewife. I was just burned out and unsupported.

I wasn’t dumb, stupid, or an airhead. I just made mistakes.

And I wasn’t never enough. I was doing my absolute best under impossible conditions.

Why This Happens

When we’re under chronic stress or burnout, our nervous systems adapt by becoming hyper-alert to danger (even emotional danger). Criticism. Rejection. Shame. The brain, trying to keep us safe, becomes extra sensitive to anything that confirms our fear that we’re not good enough.

You know what's wild, though? It's been a few years now, but that little voice still creeps in sometime: be quieter, do more, be less. Because if you already feel overwhelmed, exhausted, or like you’re treading water, it’s easy for those old stories to bubble back up to the surface:

• I can’t do anything right.

• I always screw things up.

• I’m too much. Or not enough.

The Practice of Changing the Narrative

You can’t flip a switch and rewrite the story overnight, but you can begin to challenge the script.

You can say:

• Maybe I wasn’t lazy. Maybe I was exhausted.

• Maybe I wasn’t failing. Maybe I was unsupported.

• Maybe I wasn’t broken. Maybe I was trying to survive.

You can learn to notice when those old stories surface and gently choose a different one. A kinder one. One that honors your full context.

Journal Prompt

"What stories have you believed about yourself that no longer feel true? What new truth are you ready to grow into?"

Mini Practice

Stand in front of a mirror. Look yourself in the eyes. Say one thing out loud that affirms your growth, your strength, or your effort. Your enough-ness. Even if it feels awkward. Especially then.

Reminder:

You’re allowed to rewrite the story. You’re allowed to see yourself differently now. You are not broken.You are growing.

Affirmation: I am allowed to change the way I see myself.

Next Week: We’ll wrap up the series by looking at what it means to carry what we’ve learned forward—to not just survive burnout, but come through it with a deeper connection to ourselves.